May 5: What are my choices

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 5); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (2); lower back pain (4); leg pain (5); pain on right side (4); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep; hoarseness.

My headaches started coming back today so I headed it off with the Fioricet. I halved the dosage to see what would happen; could it stave off the headache and then I remain functional? I did okay. It didn't completely take away the headache and I wasn't as dizzy. So this is better. I'm hoping it's something I can fall back on if needed.

The weather was okay today where I am so I got out and walked a little. I'm still having a lot of pain my torso and down my left leg into the shin. It's not easy to walk; I don't always feel up to it, but if I can walk down the block, it's better than nothing.

I forgot to mention last night at the concert, I forgot everyone's names. These are people I know well and for several years. Strange.

I really don't think I can tolerate the Lupron for a third shot. Unless something dramatically changes over the next week, I'm going to cycle off. The journey has been to costly... personally, financially, professionally. I feel as though it has impacted very aspect of my life. I don't think it has helped anything and made everything much worse. Very frustrating!

May 4: More

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 6); ovarian pain (6); lower back pain (6); leg pain (5); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep; hoarseness.

Today the groin pain and the ovarian pain was as bad as it has ever been. It did seem to respond to a high dose of Ibuprofen, but I felt shaky. I don't understand why the Lupron is not at least taking care of that.

On the bright side, once I got the pain under control, I was able to take a walk for about half a mile and listen to a concert. The concert was harder than the walk. I'm going to try really hard to walk a little everyday and try to build some strength. My appetite is horrible though. I don't have any fresh unprocessed food and anything heavy makes me feel ill.

I am so tired right now.

May 1: What now?

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 4); pain on sides (2); lower back pain (3); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; weakness and extremely tired; reduced mobility; problems with sleep; lack of focus.

I noticed looking at last month around two weeks after the first shot there was a reprieve and I am wondering if I am in the same cycle. Today was pretty decent comparatively. Just wondering if the bad stuff will come back.

What I do know, though I thought it was diminishing, the groin pain has not gone. That was the whole reason I did this shot... as a diagnostic. I was told by a surgeon in Miami that I would have my answer after the flare. If the groin pain was because of the endometriosis that I have, the Lupron would make it go away. If it didn't, there is something else causing the problem.

My OBGYN thought it could be adenomyosis on top of the endometriosis.

Where do I go from here?

April 30: Yes and No

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 6); pain on sides (2); lower back pain (3); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; weakness and extremely tired; reduced mobility; blurred vision; lack of focus.

Today is not bad but the groin pain is still there, as is this bizarre ovulatory pain. I don't have much energy or focus, but I still perceive things as better than they had been in recent days. Though I still say I am worse off than before I started this drug.

Must sleep.