SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 1); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (4); lower back pain (4); leg pain (3); pain on right side (2); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep.
I drove today. In a major city. And got very lost.
None of that I can attribute to estrogen loss. Rather, I blame Google Maps.
But I was able to carry on a nice conversation for two hours and made it back home. Tonight I was able to walk 4 blocks to a favorite restaurant. The walk back was easier... after drinking a lot of wine. :-)
I'm very tired though.
I received a nice mention in the daily paper regarding the Yom HaShoah service I did last week, which was completely unexpected. Very sweet.
Turn that 180 degrees and I find myself regarding some paths that I feel like are coming to an end. There's some sadness, regrets ...wondering what's next.
Beyond a full night's sleep, I'm not sure.
Friday, May 9, 2008
May 8: Triggers
SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (4); lower back pain (4); leg pain (2); pain on right side (2); chest pain (5); tingling in fingers; lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep; nightmares; exhaustion.
I fell asleep twice this afternoon/evening from being exhausted, but I did get out to walk 20 blocks between rain storms.
My sleep is being interrupted by vivid nightmares combined with chest pain and numbness/tingling in my right hand. I've got no answers on that one! I know how some people feel as though the hot flashes wake them, for me it seems as though the trigger to the hot flash is waking me... whatever that trigger is. After I wake, I noticed I have about a minute before the hot flash hits. Or at least it seemed in the last 24 hours.
I fell asleep twice this afternoon/evening from being exhausted, but I did get out to walk 20 blocks between rain storms.
My sleep is being interrupted by vivid nightmares combined with chest pain and numbness/tingling in my right hand. I've got no answers on that one! I know how some people feel as though the hot flashes wake them, for me it seems as though the trigger to the hot flash is waking me... whatever that trigger is. After I wake, I noticed I have about a minute before the hot flash hits. Or at least it seemed in the last 24 hours.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 1); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (4); lower back pain (4); leg pain (3); pain on right side (2); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep.
Ironically, the problems today are mostly the problems I sought help for in the beginning... this damn groin pain, the lack of sleep, the reduced mobility.
Today was not so bad with everything else. I walked 11 blocks west and 5 blocks north, both ways. I did get very tired trying to push a shopping cart today.
I'm exhausted right now while listening to a Rent soundtrack. How funny to me I've never seen this show. I'm in my own little classical world, which is a world apart from Broadway.
Sorry that I am not very verbose tonight. I have to wake up very early tomorrow.
Ironically, the problems today are mostly the problems I sought help for in the beginning... this damn groin pain, the lack of sleep, the reduced mobility.
Today was not so bad with everything else. I walked 11 blocks west and 5 blocks north, both ways. I did get very tired trying to push a shopping cart today.
I'm exhausted right now while listening to a Rent soundtrack. How funny to me I've never seen this show. I'm in my own little classical world, which is a world apart from Broadway.
Sorry that I am not very verbose tonight. I have to wake up very early tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
May 6: Promenade
SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 3); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (4); lower back pain (2); leg pain (3); pain on right side (4); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep.
Today was one of my better days. What started out as a rotten day because of my mood, improved once I forced myself to take a walk to get some fresh produce. If I can just keep my head from pounding and my groin from hurting enough, these short, slow walks are possible and obviously beneficial.
Today was one of my better days. What started out as a rotten day because of my mood, improved once I forced myself to take a walk to get some fresh produce. If I can just keep my head from pounding and my groin from hurting enough, these short, slow walks are possible and obviously beneficial.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
May 5: What are my choices
SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 5); left groin pain (pain rating 4); ovarian pain (2); lower back pain (4); leg pain (5); pain on right side (4); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep; hoarseness.
My headaches started coming back today so I headed it off with the Fioricet. I halved the dosage to see what would happen; could it stave off the headache and then I remain functional? I did okay. It didn't completely take away the headache and I wasn't as dizzy. So this is better. I'm hoping it's something I can fall back on if needed.
The weather was okay today where I am so I got out and walked a little. I'm still having a lot of pain my torso and down my left leg into the shin. It's not easy to walk; I don't always feel up to it, but if I can walk down the block, it's better than nothing.
I forgot to mention last night at the concert, I forgot everyone's names. These are people I know well and for several years. Strange.
I really don't think I can tolerate the Lupron for a third shot. Unless something dramatically changes over the next week, I'm going to cycle off. The journey has been to costly... personally, financially, professionally. I feel as though it has impacted very aspect of my life. I don't think it has helped anything and made everything much worse. Very frustrating!
My headaches started coming back today so I headed it off with the Fioricet. I halved the dosage to see what would happen; could it stave off the headache and then I remain functional? I did okay. It didn't completely take away the headache and I wasn't as dizzy. So this is better. I'm hoping it's something I can fall back on if needed.
The weather was okay today where I am so I got out and walked a little. I'm still having a lot of pain my torso and down my left leg into the shin. It's not easy to walk; I don't always feel up to it, but if I can walk down the block, it's better than nothing.
I forgot to mention last night at the concert, I forgot everyone's names. These are people I know well and for several years. Strange.
I really don't think I can tolerate the Lupron for a third shot. Unless something dramatically changes over the next week, I'm going to cycle off. The journey has been to costly... personally, financially, professionally. I feel as though it has impacted very aspect of my life. I don't think it has helped anything and made everything much worse. Very frustrating!
Monday, May 5, 2008
May 4: More
SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 6); ovarian pain (6); lower back pain (6); leg pain (5); lower ab muscles weak; hot flashes/night sweats; problems with sleep; hoarseness.
Today the groin pain and the ovarian pain was as bad as it has ever been. It did seem to respond to a high dose of Ibuprofen, but I felt shaky. I don't understand why the Lupron is not at least taking care of that.
On the bright side, once I got the pain under control, I was able to take a walk for about half a mile and listen to a concert. The concert was harder than the walk. I'm going to try really hard to walk a little everyday and try to build some strength. My appetite is horrible though. I don't have any fresh unprocessed food and anything heavy makes me feel ill.
I am so tired right now.
Today the groin pain and the ovarian pain was as bad as it has ever been. It did seem to respond to a high dose of Ibuprofen, but I felt shaky. I don't understand why the Lupron is not at least taking care of that.
On the bright side, once I got the pain under control, I was able to take a walk for about half a mile and listen to a concert. The concert was harder than the walk. I'm going to try really hard to walk a little everyday and try to build some strength. My appetite is horrible though. I don't have any fresh unprocessed food and anything heavy makes me feel ill.
I am so tired right now.
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