March 20, 2008: Pain is like spicy food

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (responsive only to combination of Darvocet and when ibuprofen is used synergistically with Dramamine - pain rating 6); pain points that are no longer connected (pain rating 5): left groin, left ovary, left side transverse colon meridian, left kidney, front left below rib cage; hot flashes now also during the day (fewer); lessened spinal pain with focal point between shoulder blades (pain rating 3); heart racing; left leg pain; vertigo; bloatedness.

I'll try to add numerical ratings to the pain points (0 being least severe and 10 being most).

Though I have been resisting use of narcotics as a pain management technique, it does help with the headaches. Plus, using dramamine with ibuprofen increases its efficacy. I would have to say that the headaches are what is most troublesome and what renders me least able to focus. As the day wore on yesterday, it got so severe that I could feel the left side of my face flinching and drawing up. It was hard to keep my left eye open. The pain left side of the crown, went down the back of my neck and into my shoulder (all on the left side). My right side, thus far, remains unaffected.

The vertigo is new and it happened several times yesterday while I was trying to drive. The headaches also give the sensation of low-level current running through the skin. I no longer feel the skin as skin, more like an electrical conduit, and then the musculature underneath, which is very separate. The blood rushes in my ears like white noise and I begin lose hearing. I even began to see specks in my vision. I mused that my brother, who has severe schizophrenia, and I would make quite a pair.

I attempted to get the nurse to call in something for me (this is a different nurse than the one who gave me the shot). This nurse, who obviously missed her Nurse Ratched casting call, was dismissive. She even fought with me when I reminded her that I requested something non-narcotic (twice) and she was irritated that she had gone to the "trouble" of calling in Vicodin. Last time I checked she has a job because people need her help. Hmmm... she didn't get the memo. After two days of fighting with me, she suggested Excedrin and hung up. Nice.

After dealing with chronic pain for many years now, I equate it to eating spicy food. Everyone has a certain tolerance and you can build on that tolerance once you are aquainted with a certain level. I can function to certain degree with pain that I am used to. The new pains take time. Like an anatomical dance, a new pain registers and my mind/body rushes to block it. It adjusts and I counter. On it goes as best I can. All in an attempt for normalcy. Whatever that is.

This morning was better because I was still on the lingering effects of Darvocet. Yet even as I write, I feel the pinched snarl trying to etch itself across my face.