March 21, 2008: Specialized Medicine

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 5); pain points that are no longer connected (pain rating 7): left groin, left side transverse colon meridian; hot flashes during evening and night only; heart racing; left leg pain; diminished hearing by "white noise"; bloatedness.

Over the past several days, I've noticed that side effects are less intense in the morning and increase over the course of the day. I'm not sure if that's because the Darvocet (100-650) still lingers from overnight use or if there is a different reason. I forgot to mention that I initially started on a 2400mg (400 6xd) of Ibuprofen. I now understand I can ramp up to 3g as long as I am cautious about the effects on my stomach.

While some other pains have subsided, there are two spots that are highly concentrated today: the left groin and then that point on my left side. The headaches are not so bad today though I still get that pinched feeling on the left side of my face, as if the end points of my face were drawing together. The hoarseness is diminished today. The white noise of blood rushing in my ears is still there.

One of the big questions in my mind before taking this drug was how functional would I be. If I had a job that required lifting or a lot of physical movement (for example, a courier), I would not be able to work. If I had a sedentary job that required little movement, how functional would I be? If it entailed talking, that would be difficult. Programming, writing code, writing paragraphs is doable but takes longer and with more concentration. As for the performing aspect of my career, that is currently impossible. I'm also worried about the hormonal effects this drug and this condition could have on my voice. However, I'm trying not to let that be my focus.

My frustrations with this journey have been dealing with a medical system that seems overly specialized. While my problems of recent years seem to be reproductive, I've found that many doctors are so highly trained and focused on a specific area, that they have no idea how to look or treat the whole patient. And sometimes the specialization is so acute, that they lapse in how to treat something, which in my opinion, does fit in their ken. Case in point, when I had surgery for cervical cancer, the groin pain (which I have been attributing to endometriosis) was already there and grew worse post-surgery. The surgial OBGYN's advice was to ignore it (I think she did a great job with the surgery, btw). Not only was endometriosis never discussed, she never ordered any kind of ultrasound as a further diagnostic. All this in spite of me being very descriptive about the cycles of pain. It wasn't until later and with a different doctor that we discovered a cystic ovary and then, in surgery, the endometriosis.

While as patients we can never take a back seat to owning what our medical care is, I would like to think my doctors have a better understanding of my body than I do. After all, they are the ones that went to medical school; I did not. Yet, I find all too often unless I do research and learn what questions to ask, they don't go the extra mile either. All I can claim is a far-removed minor in Chemistry and vague training as a Pharm tech. Surely they must be able to make better judgements than I can. One would think...