Tuesday, April 8, 2008

April 08: That other dirty word - depression

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 4); pain on left side (2); left knee pain (pain rating 3); left leg pain (pain rating 3); general lower back pain (4); extreme fatigue; very low mood; heart palpitations/racing; chest pain; pain in lungs; lower ab muscles weak; white noise in ears; prickly pain - like a random stabbing with needles in the feet and legs; red, itchy rash on left arm, abdomen, nose, right ring finger; hot flashes/night sweats.

Headaches at a low level today though I feel them coming on even as I type. The rash continues and now has appeared on my right ring finger. It itches, but not as bad as poison ivy. It's odd where it shows up. More sensations of a needle like pain in my legs and feet. This too seems random.

What's mostly disturbing to me today is how exhausted and depressed I feel. Depression & mental illness runs in my family and this was one of the side effects with which I was most concerned (who knew the headaches were going kick my arse so thoroughly... btw, according to the manufacturer literature, my side effects are "rare." right...). I've felt despondent for a few days now; it came on suddenly... just when I thought I wasn't going to get that side effect.

I thought, like with most drugs I've taken, if you are going to have a side effect, then you would get a sense of what that would be like sooner rather than later. But these side effects have changed as the time-release action of this drug progressed. This rash and the depression only showed up a few days ago. I have so little understanding of this drug. Have people really researched it for treatment in women? How could anyone in his or her right mind prescribe this?

I went ahead with treatment because all the doctors I spoke with gave me the okay. In fact, one medical professional told me despite all the forums criticizing this drug, only the patients that are among the sickest before taking this drug are the ones who have the bad experiences while on it. Other than the endo (which we are all still trying to figure out if this is a symptom of lupus or something else), I was okay. Yes, the endo was robbing my life because of the pain and lack of sleep, but that surely doesn't warrant these side effects, right? I don't even know what to make of this drug, other than I give up and want some Higher Power to take this off my hands. Please say it will stop soon. I can barely breath.

I have four performances in the next five weeks. The only word in my head right now is "how?"

4 comments:

My Endo Journey said...

Do you have chest tightness? I am going to call my Dr. tomorrow. My GYN is OOT, so I guess I'll call my PCP. I definitely am not liking that!!! :(

I hope your days get better and you are more than able to move forward with your performances!

AmandaJB said...

You poor thing. It really sounds like you are going through mill at the moment. I too read the leaflet and all mine were listed as 'rare and infrequent'. My thoughts are with you and I am sending positive vibes and best wishes in the hope you will find comfort from your symptoms very soon. Amanda

Kathleen said...

Are you currently using the Add Back Therapy?

Lupron Journal said...

Hi, Kathleen. No, I am not using add-back therapy right now. Do you think that would help with the severity of the side efects? The hot flashes really do not bother me, which is why I have not been using the add-back. Please let me know if you have additional advice.