April 12: Training Wheels

SIDE EFFECTS FOR THIS DAY: headaches (pain rating 2); left groin pain (pain rating 3); pain on left side (3); general lower back pain (2); heart palpitations/racing; lower ab muscles weak; white noise in ears; red, itchy, rash on left arm, left thumb, abdomen, nose, chest, right ring finger; hot flashes/night sweats; exhausted; extreme dizziness/light headedness.

Not too bad compared with earlier this week. Still trying to adjust to the Fioricet. It requires me to lie down during the day and makes driving very challenging. It gives you an odd sensation if you close your eyes - almost dizzying, but not like vertigo. Very hard to put into words. I do think it is helping with the headaches, unless I'm just going through a cycle where they have subsided anyway. Regardless, to have those headaches under control is a major victory.

I noticed I was getting frustrated and restless today. For the last few days, I've been mostly on the couch or in bed because of the Fioricet. By this evening, I was getting restless and a bit pissed. When do I get my life back? Here I am, someone who once called herself a distance runner hobbyist being more sedentary than your average Joe. So I hopped on a bike and pedalled in absolute rebellion.

Of course, my quads immediately said "WTF????" because I have been so debilitated for months, but my adrenaline got the best of me (maybe it's the caffeine in the Fioricet?). Yes, my head pounded but I smelled the trees, grass and flowers. I felt wind on my face and really, I could have cared less at that moment had I crashed the bike and cracked my skull on the pavement. For a few minutes, I was me again. I could have been on a Big Wheel and been happy. At least I could pretend to have a life for a few minutes.